No relationships are ‘sweet’ and ‘rosy’. Before committing to a relationship it is important to consider certain qualities.
You might find most of the couples on social media seeming to be lost in love. This is not a fact. All partners have their ups and downs but cannot portray the same to the world. As known, all of us are born with specific needs for care, love and attention. These needs are different in different individuals. Thus, two people in love cannot be termed ‘compatible’ all the time.
To make life easier, you need to look for certain qualities in your ‘to be’ partner. This can help you lead a calm and peaceful life. These qualities can also help you get closer to your partner over a course of time.
- Empathy Needed
Empathy means putting yourself in the other person’s place and feeling what the other person is going through. This can lead to a better understanding between two individuals. A partner who lacks empathy cannot be expected to treat you with patience, understanding, compassion and love during your difficult and tough times.
- Humor is Important
An entire lifetime with an individual cannot be hunky-dory. There are definitely problems and situations that are difficult to tackle. Getting sucked in these situations does cause a strain to a relationship. An individual with a sense of humor can easily diffuse these situations and makes you feel that the problems are not all that bad.
Laughter is the best medicine, for sure. Besides making the whole situation ‘light’, humor and laughter also keeps you healthy. Your immunity is boosted and improves the overall mood.
Humor is known to resolve disagreements and strengthen relationships. Going by all the mentioned benefits of humor, it is definitely important that you choose a life partner with a good sense of humor.
- Willing to talk and make Conversations
Two individuals, who are willing to spend their life time with each other, need to be inclined towards solving problems and working out conflicts. This is not as difficult if both the partners are willing to talk it out. There is no harm in having a healthy discussion or an argument as long as the bitterness does not carry over.
Healthy discussions require patience and skilful communication. Partners need to find a common ground or be willing to disagree or agree.
You need to understand that talking is the only way to resolve problems. A partner, who goes on the ‘silent’ mode when faced with a problem, can add to the mess of the relationship.
Talking helps you to understand the problem and the core. This can also help the importance and the meaning of the problem and the position of the partner in relation to the problem.
You need to make sure that your partner and you, brainstorm the problem till the time you find a solution that works for both.
- Understanding Emotions
Emotions are wired in our brains in a similar manner. With ongoing problems, emotions take the center stage. There is no one who can say that they are in control of their emotions.
Fights and arguments can escalate when you get impulsive and retort immediately to something said. It is wiser to pause before making any statement. Only the person who understands the value of emotions will do so.
Your partner needs to understand your emotions so that he/she does not react in a negative manner and hurt you.
Understanding and honoring emotions does not mean you have to let go of your feelings and emotions. This only means trying to help your partner when he/she is going through trauma in some way.
- Establishing Ground Rules
Any relationship in the initial stages is all ‘rosy’ and comfortable. It is only after some time that all the problems start emerging. You get a clear understanding of your partner. Instead of waiting for this period, it is wiser to set some ground rules for arguments.
These ‘ground rules’ are termed as a ‘play book’ on ‘how to fight constructively.’
Ground rules help in damage control so that the fights and arguments do not reach to the level of breaking-up.
Finding a partner with all of the above mentioned qualities might not be possible. You can compromise and adjust if you are sure that the relationship will last, no matter what.